DrunkmanShawn is so lonesome without his Yawn asslickers, he has resorted to exposing himself on BattleCam for his daily dose of lickage.
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Hello minions, pleabs, meacocks, dullards, and loons. I am here to report that Victoria Ledbetter is dead. But she has left behind an 8 gig flash drive and a non-illustrious career which spanned 4 Bud filled years.
In her final moments, she left a memoir behind. I shall now tell you what it is.
Dear TrollTrackers, if you are reading this, it is because I am dead. I could no longer take the fame of being a world reknown lifecaster. I think my good friend FoxmanShawn shall take my place. I will give him the secret to my wit and charm. It will be as if I am reborn inside of him. Nevertheless, there are a few things I should address here.
First off, who the fuck trusts a guy with half of his username being that of a sneaky, sly ass critter? "FOXman"? Please. Come on Shawn, you could have done better than that. Isn't it bad enough the pictures that populate your channel are simply part of the "came with the frame" family?
To my dearest trolls Tommy and Nikki. Oh how I'm going to miss skyping you bitches into oblivion, but I assure you, Shawn will be a good role model, so don't you worry. But Tommy, please promise me one thing. Stick to one username please. You change it more times than you utter your signature lame "real talk" Now to Nikki, I had such hopes for you. I had a dream that you went to college and became a teacher. You would have been a good teacher, with an amazing career, and a body other women would suck a dick for. You would have a family, and real friends, and you would think all of this social broadcasting nonsense was a load of shit. Then you would enter your classroom and your students would eagerly be waiting to be taught what 2 +2 is as they are riddled with bullets. You and your students all perish with blood flying everywhere, bodies destroyed, and the cuss words from the janitors as they walk in and say stuff like "Damn, look at this fuken mess!" Notice how I said "dream", and not "nightmare".
Remember, Drunkman Shawn, slip up, say stupid things, and drone on and on about pointless shit, and you'll be in good shape for another few years. It's only a matter of time anyway.
To everyone else, have a nice day!
Wow! That was so touching, I think I might tear up! So as I carefully empty my hard drive, Ikki will no doubt live up to the expectations of the masses and we can effectively, although practically, wipe the bits of trash and dust that litter my motherboard.
Now, fuck off and explode! (She told me I could use her catchphrases.)
