James Paul VonHelton has been ordered by the State of Kentucky to relinquish all weapons for a period of three years, after losing in a court case which involved threatening his wife with a gun under a protective order issued by the Clay County District Court.

Ah, prepping the bird, tossing him in the oven and watching him roast in his own juices just begs the question; who is the biggest turkey Yawnlive has ever seen?

Now, don't get me wrong, it's actually a good thing that there are mentally unstable dolts there for those just born better, such as yours truly, to ridicule at a decent clip, but the meat of this potato lies in choosing the biggest, most tasteless bird and putting him on display for everyone to feast upon.

Is it DrunkManShawn? The alki who allowed another alki to atomic fireball his ass into a corner because he jiggled the curtains with his pasty white ass one time to many? Once TheWoodshed turned him into the drooling lisper we all knew he was, trying to legitimize some piss and moan that nobody gave two flying Yawn T-shirts about. DrunkMan was never the same once his baked bean teeth ostrich face was released into the anals of blogdom, which is kind of an oxymoron since his face looks like it came out of Scuttle's anal passage. Mr. Roffey has suffered in his life, lets make this point clear. He put so much effort and time into sucking midget dick he became a bi-sexual junkie who, through his ordeals within, lost his job at whoredawg radio, who lost his clawless e-lover, and has been resorted to living on the charity of ChiefGeronimo's appearance, something any normal man with even an ounce of pride would have taken in as a fail in life. But not Shawny. Its just another place to squat and shoot up his only life's redemption into his liver, to hide the pain that he is nothing.

We all know the mental breakdowns and near suicidal situations Ikki talked Drunkman out of doing to himself. Sure, hes a balding, middle aged user who should be sitting underneath a bridge with a tree branch made into a club telling riddles to those who cross, but that's just internet lore. Drunkman has turned his misery into......nothing? Yes. He has suddenly become a "this is what broadcasting does to somebody once you become obsessed by it" statistic and is in the exclusive class of the obsessive losers of two, he and Ikki. Go figure.

Nobody in this game takes themselves as srsly as dumb ol Shawn. To the point that he has repeatedly threatened his very own viewer base at his very own channel, in an almost gestapo like fashion. It's a sad day indeed, but after all, this is DrunkmanShawn we're talking about.

Sorry about your luck, Pam.